I decided to think harder.
I thought about writing sexy messages in the mirror and wearing skimpy lingerie, sticking romantic notes in his wallet and giving him a massage. I thought about getting a babysitter and making a candlelit dinner followed by dessert in bed. I thought about going on a hike, cleaning out his truck or painting him a picture. I googled ‘romantic ideas’ and read about all the ways to “wow your husband on Valentine’s Day” when it hit me.
These are things I should be doing for him anyways. Kevin deserves to feel loved, to be ‘wowed’, everyday. Love is demonstrated. Love unexpressed isn’t love at all. I was horrified. I love that man than any living person on this planet (well he's neck and neck with Lila) and I never want him to doubt that for a second. I watch him all the time and think how sexy he looks when he comes home from work, or how joyful I am when I wake up and Kevin and Lila are sitting together on the couch reading the Bible, so I can get a few more minutes of sleep. The world feels manageable when he is here. He is constantly making me feel mushy, without even knowing it. I never understood those couples who got married, had kids and let their love lives die...Until I got married, had a baby and let my love life die. Whoops. Something must be done. I read 1 Corinthians 13, sort of the go-to manual on the subject of love.
"Love is patient (whoops), love is kind. Love does not envy, is not boastful; is not conceited; does not act improperly; is not selfish (whoops); is not provoked (whooooooops); does not keep records of wrongs; finds no joy in unrighteousness but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends." 1 Cor 13:4-8
Over the last year, I have watched my husband transform into a strong, faithful, man of God and it has been such a privilege. I am so proud of him. He inspires me. He is the kind of man that I want Lila to meet someday. I have no doubt that he will be the father that she deserves and more. I am so thankful for his love despite the ugly past I’ve brought into our marriage. His unconditional love has healed my heart. God is so incredibly good and I am so indescribably grateful. This man deserves the love described in chapter 13.
So for Valentine's Day this year, along with freaky pink oatmeal & heart shaped toast, a homemade sourdough starter, gift card and a surprise trip to the movies, I vowed to never let the romance die between us. No matter what is going on in life, I will make sure that he feels loved. No matter how busy, how tired, how distracted I am, Kevin will always know that I think he is the sexiest, strongest man alive. (Edward Cullen is fiction so he doesn’t count as competition.) And as I sign of my everlasting love for him, I gave him permission to hunt and kill my cat, Stewart.
Just kidding. But seriously, it is one of the most important vows I'll ever make. Right behind, "I, Krista, take you Kevin, to be my wedded husband. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, 'till death do us part. And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness."