So now I'm hearing voices...

So you know who I am. Now I want to tell you a little about what’s been happening…
You know that little voice inside your head that prompts you? “Go talk to that awkward girl”, or “Slow down around this corner”, and “You don’t need to spend money on that”, etcetera. Well 60 days ago, while on Facebook for the 17^th time in 3 hours, I was prompted. The voice said, “This is a problem for you”. So I put my iPhone down and went out to watch TV. “This is a problem too”, said the voice. I was not a big fan of the voice at this point. I flipped off the TV and grabbed a book. I started reading a Max Lucado book I’d picked up at a garage sale, months earlier. It was called, God Came Near. And it rocked my world.


I learned about who Jesus was. I learned about God’s glorious amnesia when you ask for forgiveness. I read about heaven. I saw the life I want to offer my daughter, filled with the grace of a loving Savior. I saw an abundant life.


I decided to go on a 60 day Facebook and cable TV sabbatical. I came to the conclusion that if I prayed every time I wanted to check my facebook and read my bible every time I wanted to watch TV…my life would look completely different. I was in need of a serious Jesus-brainwashing. I realized that addictions and stumbling blocks don’t always have to be socially unacceptable. I was stumbling over social media. Let’s be real, I was falling flat on my face.


I would check my Facebook while I nursed my daughter instead of talking to her and praying for her. I would be watching TV when my husband got home from work and wouldn’t even get up to greet him. We would play on our smart phones in bed and then roll over and go to sleep without a word. I was addicted to these things. They had become a dependency. My life seemed dull without them. I still managed to accomplish what needed to be done in my day, but never more. I would take pictures of our baby, post them and check every 5 minutes to see what people said. This is prideful and self-loving. This is wrong. If I spent 1 episode of “What not to Wear” a day, volunteering somewhere, imagine the difference I could make.


The little voice kept saying “garbage in, garbage out”. Criminal Minds has made me genuinely paranoid. The real estate channel made me want a fancier house. BET made me want to be a rapper. I’m kidding. But seriously, do I want Lila watching commercials every 10 minutes about sex, alcohol and being rich? For that matter, do I? This is the social norm in America and there’s nothing wrong with normal, right? But as a Christian, I am not supposed to be normal. I am set aside to be used by God. I am in the world, but not of the world. I was created to do God’s will.


With my mind clear from the distractions of Facebook and TV, I am able to hear the Holy Spirit. The little voice prompts me with purpose and direction. And it happens often. More often than I am comfortable with, even. I am seeing the glory of God in everyday things. I am being used. I am blown away by Him.


There is another little voice that is not so pleasant. It is the voice that tells me “People are going to think you are a hypocrite”, “People aren’t going to want to hang out with you anymore” and “Once a cheater, always a cheater”. I was a party girl. Not the glamorous Ke$ha type…just a sad, lost, pathetic, lonely girl. This nasty voice has been around a lot lately. There was a time in my life when I forgot whose child I was. I dishonored my parents and my Savior. I’ve been on both sides of the fence and let me tell you, the grass is not greener on the other side. It is covered in dog crap and land mines. Fortunately, God led me back. He carried me through the shame. He was faithful, when I was not. And he forgave me and forgot. So mean voice in my head, you’d better eat your Wheaties because it’s on. I am going to tell the world about Jesus. I have an indescribably awesome God to serve.


Well, the 60 days are up and we have made some crazy changes to our everyday lives. We are in the middle of a butt-kicking bible-study, excitedly reading the bible and volunteering in the community. We’ve even stopped listening to secular music around the house, only playing hymns and classical music. “Prone to wander, Lord I feel it. Prone to leave the God I love. Here’s my heart, Lord, take and seal it. Seal it for thy courts above.” Couldn’t have said it better myself.


More to come…